Thoughts...

Okay, if you know me, you know I'm not the type who tends to freak out all the time. Nor am I the type to be afraid of much. But as the summer slowly creeps on, I have less and less to occupy my idle mind; therefore, I tend to over-think and over-analyze everything even more that I already do. This all leads to worrying and my worrying has spawned fear. And this evil spawn cuts away at my brain, and the wounds there fester and become the breeding grounds for another enemy--doubt. And this doubt consumes my consciousness and has seeped into my dreams as well, spreading like wildfire. I am really uncertain right now.

I wonder if I'm making the right decision. I wonder if going so far away from everything I know is the right thing. I wonder if I'll make friends that I like as much as my friends now. I worry that I will not make as good of friends but at the same time I worry that I will lose touch with the friends I have now, the best friends I have ever known. I think sometimes my friends know me better than myself--urging me to actually consider law school because they know I'll actually like it--telling me to have more faith in my abilities--and even just knowing what I'm going to say before I say it. I don't think that was completely coherent but the point is I'm afraid of losing the close friendships I have now. I am afraid of failing. I am afraid that I'm not going to like the path I have chosen. I am afraid of the unknown.


I'm just hoping everything turns out alright.

Life, beginning

No, my life is not just beginning. I am not one of those people who prescribes to the saying, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life". Don't misunderstand me--it's not that I don't understand the saying; I get it-- really, I do. But it's not helpful to me. To me, this American proverb in some way seems to wipe everyday before it. It tries to encourage one to begin anew, to forget the past. I reject that notion. Today is not the first day of the rest of my life. My life has been going on for quite a while--and I've been involved in it every step of the way. I am eight-thousand and fifty-eight days old, and while I don't remember all the days, I certainly feel responsible for my actions during them. Today is a day in (hopefully) an early stage of my life, but I cannot forget or disregard everything before now. If I do, then who am I?

Personally, I enjoy this Arabian proverb: "Everyday of your life is a page of your history."

Use the time wisely, and write an interesting book with you life.

So, this is my new blog. My way of writing down some of my history. So that I can see it and share it. I hope you like it.